31

So…
I turned 31 this week. I was so concerned before I turned 30. I thought it was going to be this huge deal. Some big, life altering thing… but it wasn’t. When I was younger I thought that by this age, I’d have my life figured out. But I don’t. I never thought that at age 31 I’d be living with my parents… divorced, broke, just barely starting a career… a college student!! I thought I’d have a home, a solid career… a traditional family.
Isn’t is funny how life throws us these curveballs?

No… my life is not what I had hoped it would be. It’s not what I was expecting. Hard times come more often than I like… Especially lately!! But I am truly happy.

A few months back, I walked away from a decade long friendship… a friendship with a family who I loved as my own. This was a very difficult decision for me, but was one that changed my life for the better. As I walked away I was told “If you walk away, God will not go with you, and you will not be blessed”. That sentence haunted me. I was terrified. But it proves exactly why I had to walk away. I had given power to people who were unworthy. They used that power to control and manipulate me. And they were so wrong. I constantly lived my life in fear that if I messed up, God would not allow my to be happy. That all His good plans for my life would collapse if I made one wrong move. But that’s not how God works, is it?

I walked away from that friendship, and I am happier now than I have ever been in my life.
Yes, I just started in my career, but I’m working my dream job!
Yes, I am a broke college student, but I am finally working towards my degree, and I am doing well!!
Yes, I’m a single mom, but I have a great support group. And I am balancing work and school while still homeschooling my daughter.

For the first time in my life, I feel like I am exactly where God wants me to be. I have never felt more certain of myself. I am completely happy and at peace in my heart and with God.

 

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