If you’re longing to be loved, I’m guessing you’ve spent some time thinking how nice it would be to receive a love note, or to have someone go out of their way to plan grand romantic gestures to show their love for you.
Yesterday afternoon I was driving my car thinking those exact thoughts… I was even thinking what kind of romantic gestures I might like… Something public so every one will know? Something silly to make me laugh? Something that took me somewhere beautiful? Something secret… so personal that I’d never want anyone else to know… that only someone who knew me completely could plan?
And as I was thinking these things, I began to feel desperately sad. Will I ever be truly loved? I’ve been held by many men… but never once have I been held by a man who loves me completely. Will I ever be? Will any man ever want to write me a love note? Will I ever be considered worth the effort of planning some grand romantic gesture… just so he can see me smile (or cry, more like)?
Will any man ever look at me and see a treasure worth pursuing?
And… do I even deserve that kind of love?
As these thoughts filled my mind, tears filled my eyes. And just as I was about to concede that I may not actually deserve that kind of love… I looked up and saw a perfect fluffy white cloud drifting across the sky. And I heard a quiet whisper “I think you’re worth it. I think you’re worth more wonderful romantic gestures than you’re even imagining… I think you’re to die for.”
Will there ever be a more grand gesture that the sunsets that He paints for our pleasure? Someday a man may take me to see one… but I was first loved by the One who PAINTED them. I may some day be swept off to see some glorious mountains some where… but I know the One who FORMED them!! I may sit for hours in the arms of a man while gazing at the stars and planets in motion… but I am loved by the One who created them and set them into motion!!
He sends me love notes in the form of flower blooms and fluffy white clouds because He knows that they make me smile… But it is so much more than that!! He causes the water to rise from the ground to the sky. He taught them to gather together to form clouds. He sends the wind to blow them across my vision just to make me smile… and He sends them right where they need to be before He causes the waters to fall again… watering the grass and flowers that He knows will also bring a smile to my face.
And He gave me eyes to see all the glorious things He does… He could have created flowers that don’t need watering. He could have created empty skies. He could have made people without sight that we may never know!! But He didn’t. He wanted us to see what He was doing. And He wanted it to bring us pleasure!!
He could have left us here on our own, full of our sin, with no way to enter into relationship with Him again. We deserve that don’t we? But He didn’t do that. He came down, lived a life like ours, and then gave it willingly and painfully.
Just because He ached to be near us.
What man here on Earth could ever hope to do better? How can we long for better love notes than fluffy white clouds and flowers? How can we hope for more grand romantic gestures than sunsets that leave is in awe, mountains that take our breath away, or stars and constellations that make us weep?
How can we sit here feeling unloved when the God of Heaven and Earth stepped down and gave His life just to be close to us?!?
Why should I long to know if I will ever have another husband? Why should I struggle to come to terms with the past? Why do these things even cross my mind? For the Lord my God is my husband. He was my first Love. And in the end He will be my last.
And nothing in between matters in comparison.
Like horses driven by kings
You cover the mountains, the valleys below
With the breadth of Your mighty wings.
The breadth of Your desire
Where could I run, where could I hide
From Your heart’s jealous fire?
Are hidden inside Your hand
And in this fortunate turn of events
You ask me to be Your friend!
You are my last
You are my future and my past”