The Mountains…

Do you love the mountains? I do. I crave them. Sometimes I find myself daydreaming about them. That’s a strange thing to do isn’t it?

When I was growing up, we didn’t take a lot of vacations. I don’t mind that… we had amazing summers anyway… But… the summer after my freshman year in high school we went on a road trip. The goal was to travel to Arizona to visit my aunt and uncle. The plan was to camp some of the nights. Can you imagine a van packed full of camping supplies, food, luggage, and the grumpy teens it all belonged to? Ha!

But I had a good time. I think we all did…

We were in Colorado when I saw it. We were driving a little slower to enjoy the scenery. We made a slight turn and there before my eyes was the most beautiful thing I have ever seen. A green valley surrounded by the most beautiful mountains.  The trees that lined it it were the most lovely… aspens and pines!! In the center was a clear blue pond, horses were wandering, content with their life. Off to the side was a small home. My heart felt as though it might burst with wonder and joy!! Tears filled my eyes and in that moment I knew exactly what I wanted in my life. I could see it all before me.

I saw myself, married with a child, living in that home. I tiptoed at night in my log cabin to sing to that child. I walked my valley barefoot in a flowing white dress. I rode my horses as my hair flowed freely behind me, and my heart soared with joy at the freedom I felt. I could see every detail of that life.

In my mind I lived in that gorgeous valley for the rest of the summer… and many times since. But I never have returned.

After all these years, if I close my eyes I can still see it as clearly as I did on that day. And it still brings tears to my eyes.

Do you love the mountains? I do. I crave them.

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Welcome to my blog… I guess.

I guess I started a blog. I am not really sure why… I don’t know if I’ll update it often. I’m notoriously bad at journaling consistently. Actually, I’m not that great at doing anything consistently… My writing is probably bad too… I tend toward run-on sentences, I over-use the ellipsis, I can be a little bit negative, and I’m fairly certain I get my ” and : mixed up with my ‘ and ;

Besides, I usually say exactly what I think… whether good or bad… and apparently people don’t like that…

But… I am an external processor. I like to discuss or write what I think in order to know what I think completely. At this point in my life, I find myself single. The majority of my conversations throughout the day are with my child or my first grade class… neither of which are conducive to proper thought-processing. Lately I’ve had an abundance of inner discussions and I’d really rather not have them be “inner” any longer. So here I am. With a blog.

I doubt anyone will read it. It’s probably rubbish. I don’t really care. I’m not doing it for attention. I just wanted an outlet. If you happen to find yourself on my blog, please keep in mind these are my thoughts… probably as I process them. They are fluid and may change as I grow. Maybe. Don’t judge me too harshly if you don’t share them. You don’t have to read them…